“He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.” (Proverbs 17:27–28, NKJV)
Why is this so hard for me? Am I a product of my culture? It seems today that EVERYONE has an opinion on EVERYTHING and they are not afraid to share it. Sometimes what they say is good, other times, not so much, still other times straight-out buffoonery. I would do much better listening than spouting an opinion on something that I know little about.
I guess that is one of the major problems we encounter today. Not only does everyone have an opinion, everyone is considered right, with the exception of those who are actually correct and conflict with a person who is lying.
Tolerance is the top virtue. We know from the scriptures that God created man and woman. But today there is a blurring of the lines between what is a man and what is a woman. If people are thinking logically, they know the answer to those questions, but instead, based upon feelings, they argue that a man and a woman are nothing more than social constructs and that there is only perception, not reality. The problem with this line of thinking is that we are slowly being conditioned to move away from objective truth. If something as fundamental as gender is called into question, what about other “realities”? Why can’t I identify as a different ethnicity? Why do I have to recognize borders? Why should I obey laws? Who says that I have to adhere to social “norms”? Words are currency. We should use them sparingly.
Right around now I wish I would listen to my own premise and shut-up. But more can be said, so I guess, like Paul said, I will speak foolishness and continue. (2 Corinthians 11:16–17)
I really enjoy the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strip. I read it in the newspaper for years. My wife even bought me a book of the comics over the years. There was one where Calvin, like any 6-year-old might do, hammers nails into the coffee table. His mother comes screaming into the room and says, “Calvin, what are you doing to the coffee table?!!” At this, Calvin is confused and looks up and says, “Is this some sort of trick question or what?”
To Calvin, he was doing exactly what his mother thought. He was hammering nails into the coffee table, so the question seemed absurd. You can see what I am doing.
If it seems foolish, then it is foolish. You don’t have to ask the question. Of course, mom meant, “WHY?” are you hammering nails into the coffee table?!! Calvin probably would have had an answer for that.
“It is fun,” or, “I wanted to see what it would look like.”
But “What?” That didn’t compute. Foolishness isn’t a what. It is a why. We can all recognize foolishness. Such as paying people a proper wage for the service they provide. Yes, this is a problem that has been around for a very long time. Consider the letter of James:
“Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you! Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten. Your gold and silver are corroded, and their corrosion will be a witness against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have heaped up treasure in the last days. Indeed the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out; and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. You have lived on the earth in pleasure and luxury; you have fattened your hearts as in a day of slaughter. You have condemned, you have murdered the just; he does not resist you.” (James 5:1–6, NKJV)
We can clearly see foolishness. “Why” is a different story. We need to be able to explain why we are doing what we are doing or what we are saying. If we cannot define our opinions with more than just that “they are our opinions and that should matter,” then in the illustrious words of that great moral philosopher, Timon, the Meer Cat from The Lion King:
“Lie down before you hurt yourself.”
Sometimes we need to either bow out of a conversation or we need to listen to what is being said, learn from it, analyze it, consume it, mull over it, chew on it, digest it; then, if no other more wise opinions present themselves, as a last resort and to do little more than add to the foolishness of the moment, make your thoughts known. But be warned. Remember that motherly proverbial advice:
“When you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
There comes a time when silence is golden: When you have said what you were supposed to say and now it is time to listen. Bill Waterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes, spoke about ending the iconic comic strip after 10 years by saying:
“By the end of 10 years, I'd said pretty much everything I had come there to say.
It's always better to leave the party early. If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now "grieving" for "Calvin and Hobbes" would be wishing me dead and cursing newspapers for running tedious, ancient strips like mine instead of acquiring fresher, livelier talent. And I'd be agreeing with them.
I think some of the reason "Calvin and Hobbes" still finds an audience today is because I chose not to run the wheels off it.
I've never regretted stopping when I did.”
https://www.cleveland.com/living/2010/02/bill_watterson_creator_of_belo.html
There is a certain amount of wisdom in this.
It is better to say too little than too much.
The book of Proverbs says,
“A prudent man conceals knowledge,
But the heart of fools proclaims foolishness.”
(Proverbs 12:23, NKJV)
Wisdom tells us when to speak and when not to speak. Understanding gives us the right things to say when we have to speak. I don’t know about you, but this is so difficult for me. Perhaps it is that I am and have almost always been in the communication business for both ministry and the secular world. Working for the newspaper, I interviewed people, photographed them, and I gained knowledge.
As a pastor, I read the scriptures, taught the scriptures, and was expected to give an answer. I gained knowledge. It is hard to switch that off.
When someone speaks, if I have an opinion, I immediately want to share it whether someone wants to hear it or not. I have gotten in more trouble for what I have said than what I have not said. Again, the book of James says,
“My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.” (James 3:1–2, NKJV)
I know that we teachers will receive a stricter judgment. Will we be held accountable by God for the things we said, where every idle word will be judged? I think the answer is yes. Look at what Jesus said,
“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”” (Matthew 12:36–37, NKJV)
Although He was talking to the Pharisees, He seems to imply that EVERYONE, not just teachers, will receive judgment for their words. Then why does James single out teachers? Because we are communicators that are constantly speaking into people’s lives. We should know what is right and what is wrong. We should have a good understanding of what we are teaching. We should understand the scriptures to the best of our ability because lives are at stake.
But there is another element to this. We will receive a stricter judgment from the people. They will hear us and they will judge what we are saying and the attitude in which we say it. We will be judged and, at times, torn apart, by what we have attempted to teach people, and sometimes it is well deserved because we said something really stupid and were confronted. I gave permission to those who were listening that they could come up and talk to me about anything they didn’t understand or something they felt I was mistaken about.
I stole this from Chuck Missler who would quote Acts 17:11 and say,
“This is where Luke tells you not to believe a thing Chuck Missler tells you.”
That verse says,
“These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.” (Acts 17:11, NKJV)
I would tell the people in the church I was privileged to pastor for 15 years, to search the scriptures for themselves and make sure what I was teaching was solid. And if you are wondering, yes, I did have people come up to me after the service. At first, it didn’t feel good to hear a critique, but later, I was so glad, because it made them stronger as believers, and ruined them for false teachers. Sometimes I actually did learn something that I missed, which was really good.
As a side note, I did tell them that before coming up and talking to me they should do their homework and check the scriptures and make sure they were correct in their criticism. The judgment some of them brought was illegitimate. But it still fulfilled that verse in James. We will, because we speak a lot, invariably say something stupid or be judged harshly. It comes with the territory. That is why it is so important to keep as quiet as possible and say only what is necessary.
Practically, I remember Greg Laurie sharing this, and I think he got it from someone else, it is to T.H.I.N.K. before you speak. If we put these simple principles into practice, our communications will be much more edifying, with the added bonus of not making ourselves look foolish.
T - is it True?
H - is it Helpful?
I - is it Inspiring?
N - is it Necessary?
K - is it Kind?
If what you have to say doesn’t meet this criterion, you may just want to SHUT UP.
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